The title says it all. But, for those who don’t get it (and because I am pretty darn excited), my future sister-in-law asked me tonight to be one of her bridesmaids in her wedding. I am so excited. I have turned down offers before-one of them the bridesmaid dress belongs in the 27 Dresses movie. So this will officially be the first wedding I will be in. I am quite pleased. Guess I also might have to begin wedding boot camp to get into tip-top wedding shape.
Living at home after being away for four years is not a thrilling thing, at least for me. I never wanted to come home, but the fact is that I couldn’t find a job anywhere else. If you couldn’t tell by the title, I am sort of frustrated by this. So here are some pros and cons from my point of view from this situation.
- No rent
- No food costs- other than personal or eating out
- No other living expenses ie heat/AC, lights, water
- Spending quality time with my parents
- Trying to figure out a relationship with my brother and his fiancée
- Mother breathing down my neck
- Parents yelling at me to wake up in the morning at an ungodly hour
- Mother telling me what to do as if I was still in my teens
- Relationships with my parents especially my mom hurting because my pull for independence and her pull for control
- Hiding my relationship with my tigger because my mom doesn’t approve and no, she has no idea about the bdsm either.
I know that it may sound like I am a spoiled brat and I understand that. I am looking for other jobs and I am very happy with my relationship with my tigger/my Sir; I would love to talk to my mom about him but every time he is mentioned my mom tells me that it isn’t a healthy relationship and that I should end it. And all that does is create tension because I love him and he loves me. We are thinking about moving in with each other and we have talked about marriage as well. The fact that my mom doesn’t approve hurts, but I am not going to end it with my amazing tigger. The real issue about living at home is my mom. I don’t want to say that but it is true and it is hurting my relationship with her.
I am hiding things from her because she wants to control me and yes, I am fighting for my independence. I am at a standstill. I want to leave. But I can’t leave until I get a better job and I must have savings and right now I simply don’t have that. So I will be staying at home until I have a new job and I am financially stable to leave. I won’t be surprised if I move in with my tigger, in fact that would make me a very happy kitty, his nickname for me.
This post started as one thing and boiled down to the one thing that I am having the most issues with. Sorry if it seems confusing. But I am beyond frustrated. I am fighting for my independence from a controlling mother.
When I told this to my tigger/my Sir, he told me that he believes in me, he is proud of me, and he loves who I am. He also said that I am amazing and beautiful.
This is part of why I love this amazing man.
I think today is the day I realized that I am an adult.
It has been said numerous times but it really hasn’t sunk in until today. I had to go to the bank and order my first set of checks and then I had to switch my account from a college account to another one. And after I got that done, I was overwhelmed, not of just happened, but of the things I need to switch over to the new account with direct deposits and direct withdraws. The banker said that I have two months to get it done, but I was thinking, why wait. I can easily write a list of what I need to switch over and what needs to be changed and I can get it done this week and then close out that account. It is fairly simple.
And in that moment I realized it.
The younger me would have put it off until the last minute and then scrambled to get it done and I was so proactive about the situation that it didn’t scare me, but it actually made me feel confident, proud, and empowered.
The feelings continued as I got the courage to sit down with my mom and explain to her that, not only was I a fucking adult, but to not push her methods of getting things done onto me. She was telling me what to get done, but I had already gotten those things done three days ago. I honestly think today was a wake up call for my mom because as much as she tells me I am an adult, she keeps acting as if I am not.
I am a fucking adult who currently feels confident, proud, and empowered.
This twenty something finally did it; I followed my tigger’s advice and it worked like always. I got my driver’s license; I took the test at 10 am and twenty minutes later, I was a happy person and finally got my license.
What did I do for my first outing on my own? I went to get Starbucks coffee and lunch and then I went to the nursing home to surprise my Nan and have lunch.
I am so happy and excited that I got it done and over with. I would write more but I have class tonight, so I must go and get ready, but I am so happy that the plan #2 is complete!
PS. I have 6 more to go!
My brother finally asked his girlfriend to marry him! I am quite excited for both of them, but also for the fact that I am gaining a sister. I will post more details on this later, but just wanted to share!
I bought my car, a Volvo, in FULL!!! And I have 16 more hours to complete until I can get my driver’s licence. I am quite excited. Once I get this, it will be crossed off of the PLAN! Woohoo! I will keep you all updated.
In order to get my driver’s licence, here is what I have to do:
- 40 hours of day driving
- 10 hours of night driving
- parallel parking
- Pass the written test
- Pass the driving test
- Feel confident while driving
- Feel safe while driving
- Don’t feel forced to drive/ to do something I am not comfortable with
So far, I have been driving once or twice a week for over an hour each week with a mix of city, country, and highway driving. I am feeling pretty confident and I am really learning. It is nice that I waited because now after being the observant passenger for so many years I am really able to pick up on things rather quickly. I will keep you updated on how this is going. I am well on my way to succeed!