Living at home: Pros and Cons

Living at home after being away for four years is not a thrilling thing, at least for me. I never wanted to come home, but the fact is that I couldn’t find a job anywhere else. If you couldn’t tell by the title, I am sort of frustrated by this. So here are some pros and cons from my point of view from this situation.

PROS:

• No rent
• No food costs- other than personal or eating out
• No other living expenses ie heat/AC, lights, water
• Spending quality time with my parents
• Trying to figure out a relationship with my brother and his fiancée

CONS:

• Mother breathing down my neck
• Parents yelling at me to wake up in the morning at an ungodly hour
• Mother telling me what to do as if I was still in my teens
• Relationships with my parents especially my mom hurting because my pull for independence and her pull for control
• Hiding my relationship with my tigger because my mom doesn’t approve and no, she has no idea about the bdsm either.

I know that it may sound like I am a spoiled brat and I understand that. I am looking for other jobs and I am very happy with my relationship with my tigger/my Sir; I would love to talk to my mom about him but every time he is mentioned my mom tells me that it isn’t a healthy relationship and that I should end it. And all that does is create tension because I love him and he loves me. We are thinking about moving in with each other and we have talked about marriage as well. The fact that my mom doesn’t approve hurts, but I am not going to end it with my amazing tigger. The real issue about living at home is my mom. I don’t want to say that but it is true and it is hurting my relationship with her.

I am hiding things from her because she wants to control me and yes, I am fighting for my independence. I am at a standstill. I want to leave. But I can’t leave until I get a better job and I must have savings and right now I simply don’t have that. So I will be staying at home until I have a new job and I am financially stable to leave. I won’t be surprised if I move in with my tigger, in fact that would make me a very happy kitty, his nickname for me.

This post started as one thing and boiled down to the one thing that I am having the most issues with. Sorry if it seems confusing. But I am beyond frustrated. I am fighting for my independence from a controlling mother.

The Plan #2: Complete

This twenty something finally did it; I followed my tigger’s advice and it worked like always. I got my driver’s license; I took the test at 10 am and twenty minutes later, I was a happy person and finally got my license.

What did I do for my first outing on my own? I went to get Starbucks coffee and lunch and then I went to the nursing home to surprise my Nan and have lunch.

I am so happy and excited that I got it done and over with. I would write more but I have class tonight, so I must go and get ready, but I am so happy that the plan #2 is complete!

PS. I have 6 more to go!

The Plan #2

Driver’s licence

I bought my car, a Volvo, in FULL!!! And I have 16 more hours to complete until I can get my driver’s licence. I am quite excited. Once I get this, it will be crossed off of the PLAN! Woohoo! I will keep you all updated.

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In order to get my driver’s licence, here is what I have to do:

State requirements:

1. 40 hours of day driving
2. 10 hours of night driving
3. parallel parking
4. Pass the written test
5. Pass the driving test

Tigger’s requirements:

1. Feel confident while driving
2. Feel safe while driving
3. Don’t feel forced to drive/ to do something I am not comfortable with

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So far, I have been driving once or twice a week for over an hour each week with a mix of city, country, and highway driving. I am feeling pretty confident and I am really learning. It is nice that I waited because now after being the observant passenger for so many years I am really able to pick up on things rather quickly. I will keep you updated on how this is going. I am well on my way to succeed!

THE PLAN #1

THE PLAN #1: Create lifestyle goals and follow through with them- Doing this for myself; if I can get to the point where I am healthy and I love my body and ME than I have succeeded. Right now I am 2 out of 3.

Here are the goals I came up with:

• Become less dependent on soda- go “cold turkey” for 1 month and then periodically have it, but maybe 1 or 2 times a month.
• Become a healthier curvier me- In my head that made sense, but basically, work out. Once a week do cardio (walking, running, a mix between the two), do it regularly on wednesdays and saturdays and do it for around 30 minutes.
• Create a healthy routine/relationship with: hygiene, laundry, money, and food-Basically create positive things that right now have negative aura around them, do this now, so I have a brighter future. Create a plan for these things and stick with it.
• Have fun and have the ability to let loose every now and then- it is good for the soul!

These are along the lines of what I am thinking. Create things that both need improvement and realistic plans that aren’t out of reach of doing. I think I will do a couple of different posts on this and from there we will see. If anything needs to be reworked then I will figure it out. I know I am looking forward to it.

THE PLAN!!!

THE PLAN goes like this:

1. Create lifestyle goals and follow through with them- Doing this for myself; if I can get to the point where I am healthy and I love my body and ME than I have succeeded. Right now I am 2 out of 3.
2. Get driver’s licence I bought my car in full, so the next step is to learn to drive, but I already put 10 hours into this process so it is going…
3. Save at least $100 per check- It is a way to build up my savings account so when I do get my job, I can go. I won’t be held back by my finances.
4. Student loans- Consolidate, lower payments, and IBR. Don’t want to do it, but it is the only way to get to where I want to go.
5. Build up profile- Pull from college and create an outstanding profile… and create a good resume with templates for cover letters.
6. Start looking for jobs-Pick the company and look at ways to work up to the dream job, don’t plan for dream job, plan on using other skills to get there.
7. Leave current job- I need to stay for a year to get references and experience, but after that I can leave. BUT, my rule is that I can only leave if I have everything set in place. I must have the job, some money, and a place to live before I am able to leave.

This is THE PLAN! I hope it works, but you will know when I do. In the next post, I am going to look into more details regarding THE PLAN #1. Stay tuned and if you have any advice or experience please share, I could use the help.

GB&U

Okay, are you ready? I have a plan—-the background.

So, the plan has been in motion since I graduated from college, but while I was at work today the plan has taken off. Today during my 6 month review, I received the following complaints (my explanation is in ()):

• Speaks on the phone with food in mouth.  (I work for 12 hours and I don’t get a break- I have to ask for a bathroom break-I know TMI- so this sometimes happens, but it is rare.)
• Need to wipe crumbs off things- including the carpet. (I bring my own plates to work and I am very careful with everything. I sanatize things before I leave work.)
• Condescending towards the security guards (If I am, I really don’t know it. I say, “Thank you” every time)
• Has a degree and thus is holier than thou. (I barely talk about that I have a degree because a lot of the people I am working with haven’t gone to college.)

But after the 6 month review I was thinking about how I never wanted to work at this place, it is not my choice. I will have to work hard but I think it is worth it if I can get to a job that I want and desire. So the next couple posts will be about my plans to get to my future dream job. It is a journey and my life will probably not be in the clouds, but I am sure that by the time I get there that it is completely worth it and I can’t wait for the future.